I hate feeling sleepy like I haven’t been sleeping right. I hate waking up and the only thing I look forward to is going back to sleep. Like I woke up into a nightmare and I can only escape in my dreams. Which I can’t even remember sometimes.
My eyes have been heavy all day. Even after my tea. Which usually leaves me feeling better. I should have made myself another cup but I don’t want to drink too much in one day. I don’t have money to get more.
I fucking hate being poor. I hate living off spare change and the generosity of others. I mean, yeah I’m grateful for all the help I’m getting but I don’t like being so dependent on people. I hate feeling like I will have to owe them one day. I hate feeling uncertain.
And I hate when people say well at least you have this and that. Yea I’m grateful for all that but I am not where I want to be in life.
I just had to get this out of my system…